It's been a year since I started driving; a couple of hours a week, every week save for a couple of big gaps caused by work, or travel back to Deal, or just forgetting to rebook lessons for four months as work with GW got hellish and eventually I was dismissed.
Fun times.
It's a strange thing, driving. There you are, sitting behind the controls of a potential death machine, with a random stranger sat next to you, desperately trying to ensure that you don't kill anyone or demolish anything. You spend hours of your life with this person inside a moving metal death-cage, sharing the experiences of near collisions, what feels like hours worth of stalling, and then general chit-chat about life, the universe and everything, before you take your test and eventually part ways forever. It's a strange feeling.
That said, I didn't pass today. I've felt ready for the test for months, and my driving instructor has been sure I was ready for even longer. So what happened?
As arrogant as it sounds, my biggest concern was always that "something silly, out of my control" would happen, "like someone stepping out into the road". Sure enough, that's exactly what happened. A handful of minors and a single major, and I genuinely don't feel that one was within my control. My instructor even commented that the incident could have easily been classed as a minor fault due to the circumstances, but hey, sometimes the cookie crumbles soggily into the bottom of your tea.
So what happened? The exam was going well enough, I'd done my maneuvers near flawlessly and had been driving confidently enough. Calm, collected, I drove down the hill into the town centre and was asked to make a right turn into a side road. I checked my mirrors, indicated, and moved into a safe turning spot. I waited for traffic to pass by me, checked everything was clear and began my maneuver. Enter "Woman on Phone".
From my right side, a pedestrian - shopping bags in one hand, phone in the other, and face buried in said phone - stepped off the curve without looking. I technically was not into the side road at this point so, despite the fact the woman looked up and immediately took a single step back up onto the pavement, and was the other side of the road from my maneuvering vehicle - despite the fact that I had driven to the best of my ability - this was scored as a Major Fault. According to the examiner, I should have 'shown more notice', in other words, stopped in the centre of a lane of traffic down a busy high street.
Now, personal frustrations aside, I understand that this is 'just how it goes'. Honestly, I'm not bitter - slightly disappointed, perhaps - but it returned me to that thought of life and making plans. Sometimes, these things are out of out of your control, and no matter how well you plan and prepare, no matter how many hours of practice you put in, the chaos of the universe conspires against you and unravels it all, making it all seem worthless.
If course, it's not worthless. If I hadn't prepared as much as I had, I'd have made other errors, both in judgement and execution that would have racked up other minor and major faults. At least I can come out of this knowing that I failed, not because of my own ability (or lack thereof) but because of external, uncontrollable factors. It's heartening because it means that the practice I have put in has paid off - and next time I'm sure I'll get it.
Just remember: Planning helps, but no plan is foolproof.
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